I was doing some surfing on the web and came across this site dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder. http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/bpd.htm?src=overture
The very 1st title on that page was "A POSSIBLE NEW NAME FOR BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER". Below is the article which I found fasinating.
Many people would like to change the terminology of the “borderline personality disorder” to a new term that more accurately describes the illness. The term “BPD” in and of itself is as if the whole person (and the personality) is flawed, rather than looking at the BPD as a medical problem it actually is.
The term “borderline personality disorder” implies that there is no hope for treatment as many mental health professionals unfortunately still believe. There is thought that this illness borders on schizophrenia, thus the term “borderline.”
What then is borderline personality disorder? These questions have been posed to Dr. Leland Heller, expert in treating borderline personality disorder.
Q. What do you think about the term "borderline personality disorder"?
A. “I think it's a horrible, insulting label for a real medical illness. The name alone reduces serious research, stigmatizes victims, and implies the person is crazy. It denies the medical nature of the process, and implies simply a personality problem.”
Q. Do you think “borderline personality disorder” is an accurate description?
A. “No I don't. It implies a character problem. While I've encountered many people with a bad character who had the BPD, most borderlines I've treated (over 2100) do not have character problems. "Borderline" means patients live "at the border" between psychosis and reality. When borderlines are well treated medically, psychotic experiences are few and far between - and can be treated well. Borderlines don't live at that border, they simply go into psychosis too easily under stress.”
Q. What is the BPD?
A. “The BPD is a medical problem, likely a form of epilepsy (brain cells firing inappropriately and out of control). The characteristic symptoms include inappropriate moodiness, chronic anger, emptiness, boredom, dysphoria (anxiety, rage, depression and despair) and psychosis. The other criteria are symptoms related to these medical problems.
ALL neurological disorders can have an effect on the personality, such as Parkinson's disease which isn't called the ‘shaking personality disorder.’ "
Q. What does this term "Dyslimbia" mean?
“ ‘Dys’ means malfunction, and limbia meaning from the limbic system.
‘Dyslimbia’ is malfunction of the limbic system. While other neuropsychiatric disorders involve malfunction of the limbic system, the limbic system dysfunction is profound in the BPD. I chose Dyslimbia for my patients to take the stigma away. The BPD needs a new name, one that emphasizes healing not labeling.
I don’t care if it’s renamed ‘Dyslimbia’ or not, but a more honest, humane, and hopeful name needs to be made for this illness. Patients deserve to get medical attention for ‘Dyslimbia’ (or an equivalent name), rather than have doctors and therapists shun them because they are ‘borderlines.’”
Showing posts with label Therapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Therapy. Show all posts
Friday, October 9, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Ilene.
I had a nice therapy session today. I had a special session with my therapist today. After my past week, I had ask my therapist for an emergency session. We discussed many things and he feels I did what was needed.
He also feels that yes my mother is a Narcissist. And agrees that we have a tendency to marry our mothers/fathers, because that is what we know. He also acknowledged that once we truly understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder we can then see it in those around us.
I left yesterdays blog with a eureka moment. But I feel I need to explain why I see Narcissistic Personality Disorder in my wife.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
* Seek constant attention and admiration
I have had to continuously stroke her ego. She has even cut-off friends with took attention away her.
* Consider themselves better than others
* Exaggerate their talents and achievement
In this past week alone I told her that I would fix the post that Kiko ripped out of the wall she took it as an insult that she was incapable to fix the post. This was done on the same day that she roasted a chicken "BACK UP" and tried to cut a piece of breast meat from the back.
* Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
Need I say more. She has always wanted what other people have. And when it doesn't happen well then it is all hell until it happens.
* Are easily hurt but may not show it.
* Set unrealistic goals
Although the seeds for my illness were set in my youth (between the ages of 7 to 14 according to research), it was not until 9/11 that I had my 1st real adult trigger. That is when the depression started. It wasn't untill Feb/Mar of 2007 that I had my first suicide attempt. It took me from 1965 til 2007 to fester my illness. From what I've read and understand, it takes 5 to 7 years to START recovery. Ilene wants it now.
From what I've read it also extends to her children. Since she is superior, her children must also be superior. If not, it is not a problem with her or her child, it must be with those who see fault. She thinks her son is College Material. She see's him going on to college and doing greater things.
I love my son, but I am realistic. He needs to learn discipline. He needs to learn respect. Until then, he will never be able to achieve college level courses. I hope he does eventually attend college, but he needs to work at getting himself up to college level work.
* May take advantage of others to achieve their goals
She doesn't care which one of her friends or family she will push under the bus to get what he wants. I know that her brothers think I am to blame for all of our financial problems. That is Ilene's manipulation of the facts. Her friends that don't agree with her 100% she would push under the bus also. Example, Fran, Marcy, Karen and even Joanne. Joanne is being twisted because Ilene wants her ear, but Joanne is still Marcy's friend.
* Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
She obsesses with these Soap Operas of hers and Twilight and Charmed, as well the books she reads. I have watched some of them and whenever I make fun of them, it is like attacking a sacred cow.
* Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
Again this goes with her ability to throw friends and family under the bus if they don't agree with her 100% from the get go. Even when it came to Mother in the Nursing Home. She expected both Lenny and Fred to go along with what she said. And when they didn't, Lenny was in her words a Jackass.
* Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others.
I am point in case. I have a Mental Ilness, I have caused problems in the past and I am getting help. Ilene has not accepted the FACT that this MAY BE as good as it gets. It could be that I will get BETTER but there is NO CURE. And there is always the chance that I could get worse. I never PLANNED this life for me either. She still can't accept this.
* Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame and humiliation
I go back to fixing the pole that Kiko ripped out of the wall. I told her that I would fix it the right way. She took this as an insult and that I was criticising her.
* Arrogant behavior and/or attitude
Mutual friends of ours have described her as Nasty. Thought it was only towards me.
Of course I could be wrong. I am not a therapist, but I have many clues that point in this direction including the FACT that she is not only the youngest in the family, but she is also the only girl out of three. She has always been taken care of by her brothers. The only way to know for sure is to see a trained professional.
God Bless all of them, Ilene, Cassie and Eric. God Bless her brothers and their families. I hope that they take care of all of her needs.
He also feels that yes my mother is a Narcissist. And agrees that we have a tendency to marry our mothers/fathers, because that is what we know. He also acknowledged that once we truly understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder we can then see it in those around us.
I left yesterdays blog with a eureka moment. But I feel I need to explain why I see Narcissistic Personality Disorder in my wife.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
* Seek constant attention and admiration
I have had to continuously stroke her ego. She has even cut-off friends with took attention away her.
* Consider themselves better than others
* Exaggerate their talents and achievement
In this past week alone I told her that I would fix the post that Kiko ripped out of the wall she took it as an insult that she was incapable to fix the post. This was done on the same day that she roasted a chicken "BACK UP" and tried to cut a piece of breast meat from the back.
* Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
Need I say more. She has always wanted what other people have. And when it doesn't happen well then it is all hell until it happens.
* Are easily hurt but may not show it.
* Set unrealistic goals
Although the seeds for my illness were set in my youth (between the ages of 7 to 14 according to research), it was not until 9/11 that I had my 1st real adult trigger. That is when the depression started. It wasn't untill Feb/Mar of 2007 that I had my first suicide attempt. It took me from 1965 til 2007 to fester my illness. From what I've read and understand, it takes 5 to 7 years to START recovery. Ilene wants it now.
From what I've read it also extends to her children. Since she is superior, her children must also be superior. If not, it is not a problem with her or her child, it must be with those who see fault. She thinks her son is College Material. She see's him going on to college and doing greater things.
I love my son, but I am realistic. He needs to learn discipline. He needs to learn respect. Until then, he will never be able to achieve college level courses. I hope he does eventually attend college, but he needs to work at getting himself up to college level work.
* May take advantage of others to achieve their goals
She doesn't care which one of her friends or family she will push under the bus to get what he wants. I know that her brothers think I am to blame for all of our financial problems. That is Ilene's manipulation of the facts. Her friends that don't agree with her 100% she would push under the bus also. Example, Fran, Marcy, Karen and even Joanne. Joanne is being twisted because Ilene wants her ear, but Joanne is still Marcy's friend.
* Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
She obsesses with these Soap Operas of hers and Twilight and Charmed, as well the books she reads. I have watched some of them and whenever I make fun of them, it is like attacking a sacred cow.
* Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
Again this goes with her ability to throw friends and family under the bus if they don't agree with her 100% from the get go. Even when it came to Mother in the Nursing Home. She expected both Lenny and Fred to go along with what she said. And when they didn't, Lenny was in her words a Jackass.
* Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others.
I am point in case. I have a Mental Ilness, I have caused problems in the past and I am getting help. Ilene has not accepted the FACT that this MAY BE as good as it gets. It could be that I will get BETTER but there is NO CURE. And there is always the chance that I could get worse. I never PLANNED this life for me either. She still can't accept this.
* Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame and humiliation
I go back to fixing the pole that Kiko ripped out of the wall. I told her that I would fix it the right way. She took this as an insult and that I was criticising her.
* Arrogant behavior and/or attitude
Mutual friends of ours have described her as Nasty. Thought it was only towards me.
Of course I could be wrong. I am not a therapist, but I have many clues that point in this direction including the FACT that she is not only the youngest in the family, but she is also the only girl out of three. She has always been taken care of by her brothers. The only way to know for sure is to see a trained professional.
God Bless all of them, Ilene, Cassie and Eric. God Bless her brothers and their families. I hope that they take care of all of her needs.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
My wife thinks she knows Borderline Personality Disorder.....she is.....clueless.
One thing I have noticed is that Ilene and my Mother are of the same cloth. My mother has this little Autistic girl living next door. She knows more about autism than she does about he own sons Borderline Personality Disorder.
Ilene claims that Eric is Manic Depressive and inherited it from me. It could have been inherited from either one of us, but if it makes it easier for her to blame me, then, OK it's my fault.
She suspects he has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). NO PROOF. It is a learned behavior. She says he learned it from me. I believed that he learned it from her actions toward me. She allows him to tell me to "Go fuck myself", "Drop dead", "Go commit suicide", "Go drive your car off the road". I would NEVER let him talk to her that way. And yet she allows him to disrespect me.
If Eric does have BPD he needs to be diagnosed and TREATED. There is no Medication in the world to treat BPD
I believe Ilene and my mother bother suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am not a Therapist or Psychiatrist. But her symptoms fit.
What Are the Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
In many cases, people with narcissistic personality disorder:
* Are self-centered and boastful
* Seek constant attention and admiration
* Consider themselves better than others
* Exaggerate their talents and achievements
* Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
* Are easily hurt but may not show it
* Set unrealistic goals
* May take advantage of others to achieve their goals
Other common traits of narcissistic personality disorder include the following:
* Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
* Belief that he or she is "special" and unique, and can only be understood by other special people
* Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
* Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others
* Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
* Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame and humiliation
* Arrogant behavior and/or attitude
What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
The exact cause of narcissistic personality disorder is not known. However, many mental health professionals believe it results from extremes in child rearing. For example, the disorder might develop as the result of excessive pampering, or when a child's parents have a need for their children to be talented or special in order to maintain their own self-esteem. On the other end of the spectrum, narcissistic personality disorder might develop as the result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during childhood. The disorder usually is evident by early adulthood.
When I read this (thinking about my mother) I saw Ilene. It is intriguing when I speak to mutual friends and how she will shut people out of her life who don't agree 100% with her. Even her sister-inlaw and brother when they didn't agree with her she blocked her from her facebook. For Gods sake, we've been out of High School for a couple of years now.
If she truly loves her son and her daughter as I do, she will get them to therapy. Let a trained professional diagnose and help them.
If she ever intends to be happy, she needs therapy also. She blames me for things that happened over 20 years ago. That I LEGALLY had NO choice. Emotionally I was setup for a fall. If I forced her to do one thing or not do it, I would be controlling. I am blamed for not being there? There was no right choice for me!!! It was not MY CHOICE.
Ilene claims that Eric is Manic Depressive and inherited it from me. It could have been inherited from either one of us, but if it makes it easier for her to blame me, then, OK it's my fault.
She suspects he has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). NO PROOF. It is a learned behavior. She says he learned it from me. I believed that he learned it from her actions toward me. She allows him to tell me to "Go fuck myself", "Drop dead", "Go commit suicide", "Go drive your car off the road". I would NEVER let him talk to her that way. And yet she allows him to disrespect me.
If Eric does have BPD he needs to be diagnosed and TREATED. There is no Medication in the world to treat BPD
I believe Ilene and my mother bother suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am not a Therapist or Psychiatrist. But her symptoms fit.
What Are the Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
In many cases, people with narcissistic personality disorder:
* Are self-centered and boastful
* Seek constant attention and admiration
* Consider themselves better than others
* Exaggerate their talents and achievements
* Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
* Are easily hurt but may not show it
* Set unrealistic goals
* May take advantage of others to achieve their goals
Other common traits of narcissistic personality disorder include the following:
* Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
* Belief that he or she is "special" and unique, and can only be understood by other special people
* Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
* Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others
* Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
* Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame and humiliation
* Arrogant behavior and/or attitude
What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
The exact cause of narcissistic personality disorder is not known. However, many mental health professionals believe it results from extremes in child rearing. For example, the disorder might develop as the result of excessive pampering, or when a child's parents have a need for their children to be talented or special in order to maintain their own self-esteem. On the other end of the spectrum, narcissistic personality disorder might develop as the result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during childhood. The disorder usually is evident by early adulthood.
When I read this (thinking about my mother) I saw Ilene. It is intriguing when I speak to mutual friends and how she will shut people out of her life who don't agree 100% with her. Even her sister-inlaw and brother when they didn't agree with her she blocked her from her facebook. For Gods sake, we've been out of High School for a couple of years now.
If she truly loves her son and her daughter as I do, she will get them to therapy. Let a trained professional diagnose and help them.
If she ever intends to be happy, she needs therapy also. She blames me for things that happened over 20 years ago. That I LEGALLY had NO choice. Emotionally I was setup for a fall. If I forced her to do one thing or not do it, I would be controlling. I am blamed for not being there? There was no right choice for me!!! It was not MY CHOICE.
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