I really couldn't wait to write this post. I am sitting at a local watering hole and watching. Watching people treat other people, pretty poorly. There is this one guy who has very visible emotional problems. There are 2 guys and 1 woman who are mistreating this guy. They know he is drunk, yet they sit there making fun of him. I just watched as the bartender trying to restock the bar had 2 cases of bar in her hand trying to get past this other guy at the end of the bar and the guy wouldn't move. He was too busy kissing the bartender from another bars ass. There are 12 guys and 2 girls in the bar. The girls are hanging with the bad BOYS and are wondering where the gentle MEN are.
Wake up people. Especially you women. Bad boys will NEVER be gentlemen. You can't train someone. They are who they are. Don't ever think that you will marry someone and hope they change.
And to those who are mistreating the other drunk individual...well what goes around, comes around. Someday, you mat be alone, or get into an accident and need assistance. God is the only one who knows your fate. Don't ever say, that will never happen to me, because it might.
Showing posts with label Mental Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mental Health. Show all posts
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Being Forgotten: Part II
today was the first day that these three girls from Ohio were home in 10 years. It again shows how we have become numb to our neighbors. We don't care about them, nor do we want to know who they are! We hide our heads in the sand and look the other way. We dare not learn about those who live around us.
Why have we become so insensitive to our fellow men?
It was only a month ago they spoke about the children that were left to fend for themselves after their mothers passed away. In the past month I have seen no change. We don't check on our neighbors, our friends, our associates. We don't do the Christian thing and look after each other. Many say we're Christians. I see it on Facebook although time how people proclaim they are Christians. I get postings about how we need to start a Christian revival.
Christ would be ashamed of most of you. Christ would never turn his back on anyone. If Christ saw you and you were hungry, he would feed you. If you were thirsty, he would quench your thirst. And if you needed comforting, he would comfort you.
I'm not saying you have to be like Christ, but I am saying that we need to get to know each other. Whoever sitting next to you right now turn to him or her and ask them "How you doing?" Get to know who they are. If you know somebody who lives by themselves invite them over for dinner. Put down you iPhone and say hello.
Why have we become so insensitive to our fellow men?
It was only a month ago they spoke about the children that were left to fend for themselves after their mothers passed away. In the past month I have seen no change. We don't check on our neighbors, our friends, our associates. We don't do the Christian thing and look after each other. Many say we're Christians. I see it on Facebook although time how people proclaim they are Christians. I get postings about how we need to start a Christian revival.
Christ would be ashamed of most of you. Christ would never turn his back on anyone. If Christ saw you and you were hungry, he would feed you. If you were thirsty, he would quench your thirst. And if you needed comforting, he would comfort you.
I'm not saying you have to be like Christ, but I am saying that we need to get to know each other. Whoever sitting next to you right now turn to him or her and ask them "How you doing?" Get to know who they are. If you know somebody who lives by themselves invite them over for dinner. Put down you iPhone and say hello.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Dyslimbia vs. Borderline Personality Disorder
I was doing some surfing on the web and came across this site dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder. http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/bpd.htm?src=overture
The very 1st title on that page was "A POSSIBLE NEW NAME FOR BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER". Below is the article which I found fasinating.
Many people would like to change the terminology of the “borderline personality disorder” to a new term that more accurately describes the illness. The term “BPD” in and of itself is as if the whole person (and the personality) is flawed, rather than looking at the BPD as a medical problem it actually is.
The term “borderline personality disorder” implies that there is no hope for treatment as many mental health professionals unfortunately still believe. There is thought that this illness borders on schizophrenia, thus the term “borderline.”
What then is borderline personality disorder? These questions have been posed to Dr. Leland Heller, expert in treating borderline personality disorder.
Q. What do you think about the term "borderline personality disorder"?
A. “I think it's a horrible, insulting label for a real medical illness. The name alone reduces serious research, stigmatizes victims, and implies the person is crazy. It denies the medical nature of the process, and implies simply a personality problem.”
Q. Do you think “borderline personality disorder” is an accurate description?
A. “No I don't. It implies a character problem. While I've encountered many people with a bad character who had the BPD, most borderlines I've treated (over 2100) do not have character problems. "Borderline" means patients live "at the border" between psychosis and reality. When borderlines are well treated medically, psychotic experiences are few and far between - and can be treated well. Borderlines don't live at that border, they simply go into psychosis too easily under stress.”
Q. What is the BPD?
A. “The BPD is a medical problem, likely a form of epilepsy (brain cells firing inappropriately and out of control). The characteristic symptoms include inappropriate moodiness, chronic anger, emptiness, boredom, dysphoria (anxiety, rage, depression and despair) and psychosis. The other criteria are symptoms related to these medical problems.
ALL neurological disorders can have an effect on the personality, such as Parkinson's disease which isn't called the ‘shaking personality disorder.’ "
Q. What does this term "Dyslimbia" mean?
“ ‘Dys’ means malfunction, and limbia meaning from the limbic system.
‘Dyslimbia’ is malfunction of the limbic system. While other neuropsychiatric disorders involve malfunction of the limbic system, the limbic system dysfunction is profound in the BPD. I chose Dyslimbia for my patients to take the stigma away. The BPD needs a new name, one that emphasizes healing not labeling.
I don’t care if it’s renamed ‘Dyslimbia’ or not, but a more honest, humane, and hopeful name needs to be made for this illness. Patients deserve to get medical attention for ‘Dyslimbia’ (or an equivalent name), rather than have doctors and therapists shun them because they are ‘borderlines.’”
The very 1st title on that page was "A POSSIBLE NEW NAME FOR BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER". Below is the article which I found fasinating.
Many people would like to change the terminology of the “borderline personality disorder” to a new term that more accurately describes the illness. The term “BPD” in and of itself is as if the whole person (and the personality) is flawed, rather than looking at the BPD as a medical problem it actually is.
The term “borderline personality disorder” implies that there is no hope for treatment as many mental health professionals unfortunately still believe. There is thought that this illness borders on schizophrenia, thus the term “borderline.”
What then is borderline personality disorder? These questions have been posed to Dr. Leland Heller, expert in treating borderline personality disorder.
Q. What do you think about the term "borderline personality disorder"?
A. “I think it's a horrible, insulting label for a real medical illness. The name alone reduces serious research, stigmatizes victims, and implies the person is crazy. It denies the medical nature of the process, and implies simply a personality problem.”
Q. Do you think “borderline personality disorder” is an accurate description?
A. “No I don't. It implies a character problem. While I've encountered many people with a bad character who had the BPD, most borderlines I've treated (over 2100) do not have character problems. "Borderline" means patients live "at the border" between psychosis and reality. When borderlines are well treated medically, psychotic experiences are few and far between - and can be treated well. Borderlines don't live at that border, they simply go into psychosis too easily under stress.”
Q. What is the BPD?
A. “The BPD is a medical problem, likely a form of epilepsy (brain cells firing inappropriately and out of control). The characteristic symptoms include inappropriate moodiness, chronic anger, emptiness, boredom, dysphoria (anxiety, rage, depression and despair) and psychosis. The other criteria are symptoms related to these medical problems.
ALL neurological disorders can have an effect on the personality, such as Parkinson's disease which isn't called the ‘shaking personality disorder.’ "
Q. What does this term "Dyslimbia" mean?
“ ‘Dys’ means malfunction, and limbia meaning from the limbic system.
‘Dyslimbia’ is malfunction of the limbic system. While other neuropsychiatric disorders involve malfunction of the limbic system, the limbic system dysfunction is profound in the BPD. I chose Dyslimbia for my patients to take the stigma away. The BPD needs a new name, one that emphasizes healing not labeling.
I don’t care if it’s renamed ‘Dyslimbia’ or not, but a more honest, humane, and hopeful name needs to be made for this illness. Patients deserve to get medical attention for ‘Dyslimbia’ (or an equivalent name), rather than have doctors and therapists shun them because they are ‘borderlines.’”
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Rebecca's Dream and Keith's Nightmare.
I was reading a story about Rebecca Cutler http://www.rebeccacutlerfoundation.org/index.htm. A 30 year old girl who died of Depression. It was fascinating how the family congregated around this young lady and supported her.
I have a friend of mine who also has Bipolar Disorder, from her stories she did some horrible things to her husband, make false accusations and costing him his dream job. He stood beside her and her illness. Today he is facing cancer and his wife is returning the favor.
I have another friend who's husband has a rare illness that might take his life at any point. Did she say "Fuck this I didn't sign up for this I'm out of here!!". No she continued to support her family and be a wife.
I have yet another friend of mine, who's wife and daughter are out of control. He works in the Mental Health Field, Sits on the County Mental Health Board and then has to come home to deal with his wife's mental illness. Been doing it for quite some time as I am to understand.
You know what I get.... "Don't blame me for what they can see themselves. Now if you don't mind I am at work. You know the thing that you are not capable of doing." She thinks that I'm faking it. She thinks that Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder aren't real illnesses. This is the compassion I get from her.
She belittles and berates me in front of the kids. She let's them know that all the financial problems are because I am lazy, not ill. She allows theses kids to treat me with disdain. I CAN blame her for what SHE says about me in front of the kids. I CAN blame HER for BAD MOUTHING me in front of the kids.
I have a friend of mine who also has Bipolar Disorder, from her stories she did some horrible things to her husband, make false accusations and costing him his dream job. He stood beside her and her illness. Today he is facing cancer and his wife is returning the favor.
I have another friend who's husband has a rare illness that might take his life at any point. Did she say "Fuck this I didn't sign up for this I'm out of here!!". No she continued to support her family and be a wife.
I have yet another friend of mine, who's wife and daughter are out of control. He works in the Mental Health Field, Sits on the County Mental Health Board and then has to come home to deal with his wife's mental illness. Been doing it for quite some time as I am to understand.
You know what I get.... "Don't blame me for what they can see themselves. Now if you don't mind I am at work. You know the thing that you are not capable of doing." She thinks that I'm faking it. She thinks that Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder aren't real illnesses. This is the compassion I get from her.
She belittles and berates me in front of the kids. She let's them know that all the financial problems are because I am lazy, not ill. She allows theses kids to treat me with disdain. I CAN blame her for what SHE says about me in front of the kids. I CAN blame HER for BAD MOUTHING me in front of the kids.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Congratulations Eric!!!!
Today, after an agonizing 14 years of Schooling (Pre-K and K-12), my son has his diploma in hand. I am so very proud of him and I hope he knows that no matter what he says or does to me, I am his father and he is my son, and I love him.
Originally I was going to be "punished" by not being allowed to come at all, but they changed their minds and procured a ticket for me in the Auditorium where you get to see your child graduate on "Jumbotron". Ilene and Cassie were to sit in the Gymnasium and see it live. Thankfully, God was being good to me and brought me good weather. With the good weather they held the Commencement Exercise outdoors, and it became a moot point.
My wife made a comment in the car on the way over. She says to me "I hope you know that those are Stadium seating, and the only reason you got those was because of me." All I could see at that moment was my mother. It was almost as if she were saying "You should happy for the crumbs I toss to you, now come and kiss my feet."
This is my son for God's sake. It's not like it was the guy down the end of the block's birthday. Ilene should have used the opportunity to teach my son what it RIGHT. She should have used the chance to explain to Eric that I am his father and that I had just as much right to be there as she did. No, she had to control the situation (again, just like my mother).
I will always have a special place in my heart for Ilene. As I have said in the past, I knew from the very first moment I met her, that I was going to marry her, have a family together, and then grow old together. How's that song go "2 out of 3 ain't bad". But I am so happy that things are changing.
So to you Mr. Eric, may God bless you and keep you. My your desires and hopes be fulfilled. And may you have enough. Through the years, you have brought me laughs, pain, joy, sorrow, but I have never been more proud of you than I am today.
My wife made a comment in the car on the way over. She says to me "I hope you know that those are Stadium seating, and the only reason you got those was because of me." All I could see at that moment was my mother. It was almost as if she were saying "You should happy for the crumbs I toss to you, now come and kiss my feet."
This is my son for God's sake. It's not like it was the guy down the end of the block's birthday. Ilene should have used the opportunity to teach my son what it RIGHT. She should have used the chance to explain to Eric that I am his father and that I had just as much right to be there as she did. No, she had to control the situation (again, just like my mother).
So to you Mr. Eric, may God bless you and keep you. My your desires and hopes be fulfilled. And may you have enough. Through the years, you have brought me laughs, pain, joy, sorrow, but I have never been more proud of you than I am today.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Ilene.
I had a nice therapy session today. I had a special session with my therapist today. After my past week, I had ask my therapist for an emergency session. We discussed many things and he feels I did what was needed.
He also feels that yes my mother is a Narcissist. And agrees that we have a tendency to marry our mothers/fathers, because that is what we know. He also acknowledged that once we truly understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder we can then see it in those around us.
I left yesterdays blog with a eureka moment. But I feel I need to explain why I see Narcissistic Personality Disorder in my wife.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
* Seek constant attention and admiration
I have had to continuously stroke her ego. She has even cut-off friends with took attention away her.
* Consider themselves better than others
* Exaggerate their talents and achievement
In this past week alone I told her that I would fix the post that Kiko ripped out of the wall she took it as an insult that she was incapable to fix the post. This was done on the same day that she roasted a chicken "BACK UP" and tried to cut a piece of breast meat from the back.
* Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
Need I say more. She has always wanted what other people have. And when it doesn't happen well then it is all hell until it happens.
* Are easily hurt but may not show it.
* Set unrealistic goals
Although the seeds for my illness were set in my youth (between the ages of 7 to 14 according to research), it was not until 9/11 that I had my 1st real adult trigger. That is when the depression started. It wasn't untill Feb/Mar of 2007 that I had my first suicide attempt. It took me from 1965 til 2007 to fester my illness. From what I've read and understand, it takes 5 to 7 years to START recovery. Ilene wants it now.
From what I've read it also extends to her children. Since she is superior, her children must also be superior. If not, it is not a problem with her or her child, it must be with those who see fault. She thinks her son is College Material. She see's him going on to college and doing greater things.
I love my son, but I am realistic. He needs to learn discipline. He needs to learn respect. Until then, he will never be able to achieve college level courses. I hope he does eventually attend college, but he needs to work at getting himself up to college level work.
* May take advantage of others to achieve their goals
She doesn't care which one of her friends or family she will push under the bus to get what he wants. I know that her brothers think I am to blame for all of our financial problems. That is Ilene's manipulation of the facts. Her friends that don't agree with her 100% she would push under the bus also. Example, Fran, Marcy, Karen and even Joanne. Joanne is being twisted because Ilene wants her ear, but Joanne is still Marcy's friend.
* Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
She obsesses with these Soap Operas of hers and Twilight and Charmed, as well the books she reads. I have watched some of them and whenever I make fun of them, it is like attacking a sacred cow.
* Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
Again this goes with her ability to throw friends and family under the bus if they don't agree with her 100% from the get go. Even when it came to Mother in the Nursing Home. She expected both Lenny and Fred to go along with what she said. And when they didn't, Lenny was in her words a Jackass.
* Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others.
I am point in case. I have a Mental Ilness, I have caused problems in the past and I am getting help. Ilene has not accepted the FACT that this MAY BE as good as it gets. It could be that I will get BETTER but there is NO CURE. And there is always the chance that I could get worse. I never PLANNED this life for me either. She still can't accept this.
* Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame and humiliation
I go back to fixing the pole that Kiko ripped out of the wall. I told her that I would fix it the right way. She took this as an insult and that I was criticising her.
* Arrogant behavior and/or attitude
Mutual friends of ours have described her as Nasty. Thought it was only towards me.
Of course I could be wrong. I am not a therapist, but I have many clues that point in this direction including the FACT that she is not only the youngest in the family, but she is also the only girl out of three. She has always been taken care of by her brothers. The only way to know for sure is to see a trained professional.
God Bless all of them, Ilene, Cassie and Eric. God Bless her brothers and their families. I hope that they take care of all of her needs.
He also feels that yes my mother is a Narcissist. And agrees that we have a tendency to marry our mothers/fathers, because that is what we know. He also acknowledged that once we truly understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder we can then see it in those around us.
I left yesterdays blog with a eureka moment. But I feel I need to explain why I see Narcissistic Personality Disorder in my wife.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
* Seek constant attention and admiration
I have had to continuously stroke her ego. She has even cut-off friends with took attention away her.
* Consider themselves better than others
* Exaggerate their talents and achievement
In this past week alone I told her that I would fix the post that Kiko ripped out of the wall she took it as an insult that she was incapable to fix the post. This was done on the same day that she roasted a chicken "BACK UP" and tried to cut a piece of breast meat from the back.
* Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
Need I say more. She has always wanted what other people have. And when it doesn't happen well then it is all hell until it happens.
* Are easily hurt but may not show it.
* Set unrealistic goals
Although the seeds for my illness were set in my youth (between the ages of 7 to 14 according to research), it was not until 9/11 that I had my 1st real adult trigger. That is when the depression started. It wasn't untill Feb/Mar of 2007 that I had my first suicide attempt. It took me from 1965 til 2007 to fester my illness. From what I've read and understand, it takes 5 to 7 years to START recovery. Ilene wants it now.
From what I've read it also extends to her children. Since she is superior, her children must also be superior. If not, it is not a problem with her or her child, it must be with those who see fault. She thinks her son is College Material. She see's him going on to college and doing greater things.
I love my son, but I am realistic. He needs to learn discipline. He needs to learn respect. Until then, he will never be able to achieve college level courses. I hope he does eventually attend college, but he needs to work at getting himself up to college level work.
* May take advantage of others to achieve their goals
She doesn't care which one of her friends or family she will push under the bus to get what he wants. I know that her brothers think I am to blame for all of our financial problems. That is Ilene's manipulation of the facts. Her friends that don't agree with her 100% she would push under the bus also. Example, Fran, Marcy, Karen and even Joanne. Joanne is being twisted because Ilene wants her ear, but Joanne is still Marcy's friend.
* Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
She obsesses with these Soap Operas of hers and Twilight and Charmed, as well the books she reads. I have watched some of them and whenever I make fun of them, it is like attacking a sacred cow.
* Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
Again this goes with her ability to throw friends and family under the bus if they don't agree with her 100% from the get go. Even when it came to Mother in the Nursing Home. She expected both Lenny and Fred to go along with what she said. And when they didn't, Lenny was in her words a Jackass.
* Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others.
I am point in case. I have a Mental Ilness, I have caused problems in the past and I am getting help. Ilene has not accepted the FACT that this MAY BE as good as it gets. It could be that I will get BETTER but there is NO CURE. And there is always the chance that I could get worse. I never PLANNED this life for me either. She still can't accept this.
* Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame and humiliation
I go back to fixing the pole that Kiko ripped out of the wall. I told her that I would fix it the right way. She took this as an insult and that I was criticising her.
* Arrogant behavior and/or attitude
Mutual friends of ours have described her as Nasty. Thought it was only towards me.
Of course I could be wrong. I am not a therapist, but I have many clues that point in this direction including the FACT that she is not only the youngest in the family, but she is also the only girl out of three. She has always been taken care of by her brothers. The only way to know for sure is to see a trained professional.
God Bless all of them, Ilene, Cassie and Eric. God Bless her brothers and their families. I hope that they take care of all of her needs.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
My wife thinks she knows Borderline Personality Disorder.....she is.....clueless.
One thing I have noticed is that Ilene and my Mother are of the same cloth. My mother has this little Autistic girl living next door. She knows more about autism than she does about he own sons Borderline Personality Disorder.
Ilene claims that Eric is Manic Depressive and inherited it from me. It could have been inherited from either one of us, but if it makes it easier for her to blame me, then, OK it's my fault.
She suspects he has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). NO PROOF. It is a learned behavior. She says he learned it from me. I believed that he learned it from her actions toward me. She allows him to tell me to "Go fuck myself", "Drop dead", "Go commit suicide", "Go drive your car off the road". I would NEVER let him talk to her that way. And yet she allows him to disrespect me.
If Eric does have BPD he needs to be diagnosed and TREATED. There is no Medication in the world to treat BPD
I believe Ilene and my mother bother suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am not a Therapist or Psychiatrist. But her symptoms fit.
What Are the Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
In many cases, people with narcissistic personality disorder:
* Are self-centered and boastful
* Seek constant attention and admiration
* Consider themselves better than others
* Exaggerate their talents and achievements
* Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
* Are easily hurt but may not show it
* Set unrealistic goals
* May take advantage of others to achieve their goals
Other common traits of narcissistic personality disorder include the following:
* Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
* Belief that he or she is "special" and unique, and can only be understood by other special people
* Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
* Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others
* Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
* Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame and humiliation
* Arrogant behavior and/or attitude
What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
The exact cause of narcissistic personality disorder is not known. However, many mental health professionals believe it results from extremes in child rearing. For example, the disorder might develop as the result of excessive pampering, or when a child's parents have a need for their children to be talented or special in order to maintain their own self-esteem. On the other end of the spectrum, narcissistic personality disorder might develop as the result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during childhood. The disorder usually is evident by early adulthood.
When I read this (thinking about my mother) I saw Ilene. It is intriguing when I speak to mutual friends and how she will shut people out of her life who don't agree 100% with her. Even her sister-inlaw and brother when they didn't agree with her she blocked her from her facebook. For Gods sake, we've been out of High School for a couple of years now.
If she truly loves her son and her daughter as I do, she will get them to therapy. Let a trained professional diagnose and help them.
If she ever intends to be happy, she needs therapy also. She blames me for things that happened over 20 years ago. That I LEGALLY had NO choice. Emotionally I was setup for a fall. If I forced her to do one thing or not do it, I would be controlling. I am blamed for not being there? There was no right choice for me!!! It was not MY CHOICE.
Ilene claims that Eric is Manic Depressive and inherited it from me. It could have been inherited from either one of us, but if it makes it easier for her to blame me, then, OK it's my fault.
She suspects he has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). NO PROOF. It is a learned behavior. She says he learned it from me. I believed that he learned it from her actions toward me. She allows him to tell me to "Go fuck myself", "Drop dead", "Go commit suicide", "Go drive your car off the road". I would NEVER let him talk to her that way. And yet she allows him to disrespect me.
If Eric does have BPD he needs to be diagnosed and TREATED. There is no Medication in the world to treat BPD
I believe Ilene and my mother bother suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am not a Therapist or Psychiatrist. But her symptoms fit.
What Are the Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
In many cases, people with narcissistic personality disorder:
* Are self-centered and boastful
* Seek constant attention and admiration
* Consider themselves better than others
* Exaggerate their talents and achievements
* Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
* Are easily hurt but may not show it
* Set unrealistic goals
* May take advantage of others to achieve their goals
Other common traits of narcissistic personality disorder include the following:
* Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
* Belief that he or she is "special" and unique, and can only be understood by other special people
* Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
* Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others
* Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
* Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame and humiliation
* Arrogant behavior and/or attitude
What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
The exact cause of narcissistic personality disorder is not known. However, many mental health professionals believe it results from extremes in child rearing. For example, the disorder might develop as the result of excessive pampering, or when a child's parents have a need for their children to be talented or special in order to maintain their own self-esteem. On the other end of the spectrum, narcissistic personality disorder might develop as the result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during childhood. The disorder usually is evident by early adulthood.
When I read this (thinking about my mother) I saw Ilene. It is intriguing when I speak to mutual friends and how she will shut people out of her life who don't agree 100% with her. Even her sister-inlaw and brother when they didn't agree with her she blocked her from her facebook. For Gods sake, we've been out of High School for a couple of years now.
If she truly loves her son and her daughter as I do, she will get them to therapy. Let a trained professional diagnose and help them.
If she ever intends to be happy, she needs therapy also. She blames me for things that happened over 20 years ago. That I LEGALLY had NO choice. Emotionally I was setup for a fall. If I forced her to do one thing or not do it, I would be controlling. I am blamed for not being there? There was no right choice for me!!! It was not MY CHOICE.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Nearer to God....................................................
I have to look at my relationship with God and Christ. It seems to me that that when I was a child I did not know him. I did not want to know him. After all, what had he done for me lately? I was in a family that had no real use for me.
My father hated me. How do I know this? My father mettled out punishment with the fervor of a pitbull starting with the youngest and working finally tiring by the time he got to the oldest. He would do this round after round until somebody confessed. He used either a belt or "Hotwheels" track. The pain could then be inflicted longer and with greater bearing. He inflicted double damage by turn a toy into a weapon.
Skipper (F. Joseph Towell, Jr.) was the oldest, he raped me. The more I say it, the easier it is to say it. I did nothing wrong, I shouldn't feel guilty. He violated me. He went to jail for the rape of a 13 year old girl. He never faced ANY punishment for violating me.
Kevin was 2 years older than I was. He did his dammedest to pull me down into his world. He was drug and alcohol dependent, but worse than that he was a quiter. He quit everything. He quit High School, Family, Marraige, even the Marine Corps. He quit EVERYTHING. He moved to Florida to get away from my Parents. But she calls my mother daily. He IS "Poor Jane" in every sense of the way.
Let me explain "Poor Jane". My mother is the oldest of 3. My Aunt Karen was the youngest, my mother was the oldest, and then there was "Poor Jane". My Aunt Jane choose poorly in life. He first husband Edward, was an alcoholic. In my growing up, my Aunt Jane live in the same apartment building as my Grandmother (her mother). But whenever my Grandmother needed anything she would call my mother. My mother would run out there and deal with her and then have to listen to how "Poor Jane" didn't have this or didn't have that. "Poor Jane" might have had more in her if she spent less time in bars.
Kevin kinda like lets life evolve around him. He sells hot dogs on the beach. He has never pushed, or gone out of his way for anybody. He has no money, and lives hand to mouth. "Poor Jane" lives on.
My mother has enabled everyone in my family. When I asked my mother if she had even the slightest hint that Skipper had molested anybody. She said that once when Kevin was being beat up by some neighborhood kids, she overheard one kid say "...that's right go home and get raped by your older brother." I asked what she did next. She said, she asked Skipper if he was molesting anyone. Skipper said "No." That was it, the end of the conversation, he said no. What more evidence was needed?
My parents spent untold dollars defending both of my brothers in a Court of Law and even though I was the only child to Graduate from High School and be accepted to Dowling College. I was subjected to Community College. Which allowed me to flounder until I folded.
I then needed to escape my brothers drug-scapades so I joined the Marine Corps. It was there that god found me again. God calls me, I listen. My Grandfather passed away while I was in bootcamp. He was burried a good week before my mother decided to tell me. I was extremely found of my Grandfather and angry when I was informed. I wasn't given the choice, I was told afterwards. God and I had one of our longest conversations that night. I was also the first time I requested to speak with a Minister.
I was given a Bible that day by the Minister that I still carry today. I hardly ever read that Bible today. Instead, I have a bible that I asked for, for Christmas, but ended up buying for myself. It is in the New Living Translation which means less thos and thou arts, and more dos and dems ((Brooklyneses) only kidding).
When I came back out of the Marine Corps and when back home, God became a little less converse. It wouldn't be until now (2009) that I realized that God kept his distance when I was with my family.
Now I must clarify that I am not hearing voices? God puts things (ideas) in my head. It's not like I'm seeing and hearing things.
I can now understand Moses trying to explain to his people:
My father hated me. How do I know this? My father mettled out punishment with the fervor of a pitbull starting with the youngest and working finally tiring by the time he got to the oldest. He would do this round after round until somebody confessed. He used either a belt or "Hotwheels" track. The pain could then be inflicted longer and with greater bearing. He inflicted double damage by turn a toy into a weapon.
Skipper (F. Joseph Towell, Jr.) was the oldest, he raped me. The more I say it, the easier it is to say it. I did nothing wrong, I shouldn't feel guilty. He violated me. He went to jail for the rape of a 13 year old girl. He never faced ANY punishment for violating me.
Kevin was 2 years older than I was. He did his dammedest to pull me down into his world. He was drug and alcohol dependent, but worse than that he was a quiter. He quit everything. He quit High School, Family, Marraige, even the Marine Corps. He quit EVERYTHING. He moved to Florida to get away from my Parents. But she calls my mother daily. He IS "Poor Jane" in every sense of the way.
Let me explain "Poor Jane". My mother is the oldest of 3. My Aunt Karen was the youngest, my mother was the oldest, and then there was "Poor Jane". My Aunt Jane choose poorly in life. He first husband Edward, was an alcoholic. In my growing up, my Aunt Jane live in the same apartment building as my Grandmother (her mother). But whenever my Grandmother needed anything she would call my mother. My mother would run out there and deal with her and then have to listen to how "Poor Jane" didn't have this or didn't have that. "Poor Jane" might have had more in her if she spent less time in bars.
Kevin kinda like lets life evolve around him. He sells hot dogs on the beach. He has never pushed, or gone out of his way for anybody. He has no money, and lives hand to mouth. "Poor Jane" lives on.
My mother has enabled everyone in my family. When I asked my mother if she had even the slightest hint that Skipper had molested anybody. She said that once when Kevin was being beat up by some neighborhood kids, she overheard one kid say "...that's right go home and get raped by your older brother." I asked what she did next. She said, she asked Skipper if he was molesting anyone. Skipper said "No." That was it, the end of the conversation, he said no. What more evidence was needed?
My parents spent untold dollars defending both of my brothers in a Court of Law and even though I was the only child to Graduate from High School and be accepted to Dowling College. I was subjected to Community College. Which allowed me to flounder until I folded.
I then needed to escape my brothers drug-scapades so I joined the Marine Corps. It was there that god found me again. God calls me, I listen. My Grandfather passed away while I was in bootcamp. He was burried a good week before my mother decided to tell me. I was extremely found of my Grandfather and angry when I was informed. I wasn't given the choice, I was told afterwards. God and I had one of our longest conversations that night. I was also the first time I requested to speak with a Minister.
I was given a Bible that day by the Minister that I still carry today. I hardly ever read that Bible today. Instead, I have a bible that I asked for, for Christmas, but ended up buying for myself. It is in the New Living Translation which means less thos and thou arts, and more dos and dems ((Brooklyneses) only kidding).
When I came back out of the Marine Corps and when back home, God became a little less converse. It wouldn't be until now (2009) that I realized that God kept his distance when I was with my family.
Now I must clarify that I am not hearing voices? God puts things (ideas) in my head. It's not like I'm seeing and hearing things.
I can now understand Moses trying to explain to his people:
Moses:
"I got these 10 laws from a burning bush."
People:
"And the white beard?"
Moses:
"Yup. That's about the extent of it."
People:
"So you want me to worship a burning bush that gives you rocks and white hair."
Moses:
"Yup. That's about the extent of it."
And to think that Moses at least had the tablets. Thank GOD that Moses was better at splaining than I am.
Again God kept distanced until I was married to my wife. Not once did I ever abandon God. When I was a child. I stuck an electric plug in my mouth. I burnt the size of a 50¢ piece out of the corner of my mouth. I should have been dead then. I also had some very close calls with bullets
even before I joined the Marine Corps. Once in the Bronx Teabandon - Wiktionaryrminal Market and then again in Corona Queens. Even back then I knew God was not finished with me.
I don't know what, where, or why, but I still am here, and I'm Still Me. AND I am still with God, and God is still with me.
"I got these 10 laws from a burning bush."
People:
"And the white beard?"
Moses:
"Yup. That's about the extent of it."
People:
"So you want me to worship a burning bush that gives you rocks and white hair."
Moses:
"Yup. That's about the extent of it."
And to think that Moses at least had the tablets. Thank GOD that Moses was better at splaining than I am.
Again God kept distanced until I was married to my wife. Not once did I ever abandon God. When I was a child. I stuck an electric plug in my mouth. I burnt the size of a 50¢ piece out of the corner of my mouth. I should have been dead then. I also had some very close calls with bullets
even before I joined the Marine Corps. Once in the Bronx Teabandon - Wiktionaryrminal Market and then again in Corona Queens. Even back then I knew God was not finished with me.
I don't know what, where, or why, but I still am here, and I'm Still Me. AND I am still with God, and God is still with me.
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