It is impossible for my wife (let alone anybody else) can even begin to fathom my childhood. My wife can see it from the outside. She saw how my father treated me as an adult, but she never saw how he beat me with the "Hotwheels Track". I have that track above my door to remind me.
She's seen how my mother tries to manipulate my every construct. She makes you feel guilty if you don't do exactly what she wants. You're the bad one.
She can't even comprehend what it feels like to have your older brother rape you repeatedly for years and have everyone pretend it didn't or couldn't happen.
She thinks BPD is made up. She thinks that I can take a magic pill and it all goes away.
She pretends to think that I have abused my children similarily. She equates my kids childhood to mine.
All I wanted was my garage back. My wife has showed me how little she thinks of me. When Eric needed to be disciplined she told me she would back whatever I needed to do. It's now out of my hands.
No matter what happens I say yes from now on. Whatever he wants he gets. That's how she wants it.
I'm screaming on the inside right now. My wife is threatening to throw me out. Where do I go? She thinks I can just go to my mothers or my brothers and the world will be alright. I have no place to go. It's not as if anyone will have me.
He even lied to my wife about detention. My wife asked him this past week whether he had detention or not. He told her no. That was Tuesday, on Wednesday I got a letter from the school telling me he had a 3 hour detention. He even tried to grab the mail before anyone else could get it. He's not only a liar but also a cheat.
It's been real difficult for me lately I've had certain needs that I don't know how to deal with. I want to... I need to feel something. Anything.
She just doesn't understand how I go like this.
My therapist and I discussed my BPD this past week. He told me that I can relapse back into the defensive mode.
HELP ME!!!!!
She's seen how my mother tries to manipulate my every construct. She makes you feel guilty if you don't do exactly what she wants. You're the bad one.
She can't even comprehend what it feels like to have your older brother rape you repeatedly for years and have everyone pretend it didn't or couldn't happen.
She thinks BPD is made up. She thinks that I can take a magic pill and it all goes away.
She pretends to think that I have abused my children similarily. She equates my kids childhood to mine.
All I wanted was my garage back. My wife has showed me how little she thinks of me. When Eric needed to be disciplined she told me she would back whatever I needed to do. It's now out of my hands.
No matter what happens I say yes from now on. Whatever he wants he gets. That's how she wants it.
I'm screaming on the inside right now. My wife is threatening to throw me out. Where do I go? She thinks I can just go to my mothers or my brothers and the world will be alright. I have no place to go. It's not as if anyone will have me.
He even lied to my wife about detention. My wife asked him this past week whether he had detention or not. He told her no. That was Tuesday, on Wednesday I got a letter from the school telling me he had a 3 hour detention. He even tried to grab the mail before anyone else could get it. He's not only a liar but also a cheat.
It's been real difficult for me lately I've had certain needs that I don't know how to deal with. I want to... I need to feel something. Anything.
She just doesn't understand how I go like this.
My therapist and I discussed my BPD this past week. He told me that I can relapse back into the defensive mode.
HELP ME!!!!!
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