I have done my best to try to keep this family together. I have taken blame for the actions that and damages I have caused. I have asked that my wife and children get therapy. God knows they need it.
I have always loved my wife and children, still do. I honestly don't think my has ever loved me. She married me because she wanted to beat he High School friend Suzanne down the aisle. She was in love with the idea of marriage, but she has always wanted to be single.
Even this past week I got a large TV for the livingroom in hopes that we could spend time together. I have spend countless hours trying to save our house. I comes to this. She blurts that she can't wait til the the kids are out of the house and I'm out of the house and then she can sell the house and get on with her life.
She would much rather be Cassie and Eric's best friend than their mother. The tipping stone was when she calls me and tells me the account is in a negative balance and to not go to Lowes to get the garden hose. I then text her because she was to be going with our 17 year old son to get him his $150 tattoo. I texted her because I did not feel it wise to spend $150 on a tattoo, when there is a negative balance in the checking account. I asked her if it could wait until my check came in. She then calls me on the telephone so that Eric can hear the conversation and then I'm the mean one again.
Every time we've had financial problems Ilene was in charge of the bank accounts. Before my first suicide attempt, I was in charge of the books. I took it over after we almost lost the house the first time because she didn't pay property taxes for an entire years. After 6 months under my direction we had paid our back taxes, we paid off the 2004 PT 2 years earlier and $18000. in the savings account.
When Ilene is still paying a mortgage on an house she doesn't own. When she is in an apartment that doesn't allow pets. When the bills are up to her eyes while her children are still sitting in their rooms in her apartment watching TV or playing video games, or going on vacation on mom's dime. Then and maybe then, she will understand that they (all 3 of them) needed help but it will be too late.
When I got married it was for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, til death do us part. I know what I signed for. Ilene says she never signed on for this.
I love my wife and children, but I will no longer pretend that they love me.
I have always loved my wife and children, still do. I honestly don't think my has ever loved me. She married me because she wanted to beat he High School friend Suzanne down the aisle. She was in love with the idea of marriage, but she has always wanted to be single.
Even this past week I got a large TV for the livingroom in hopes that we could spend time together. I have spend countless hours trying to save our house. I comes to this. She blurts that she can't wait til the the kids are out of the house and I'm out of the house and then she can sell the house and get on with her life.
She would much rather be Cassie and Eric's best friend than their mother. The tipping stone was when she calls me and tells me the account is in a negative balance and to not go to Lowes to get the garden hose. I then text her because she was to be going with our 17 year old son to get him his $150 tattoo. I texted her because I did not feel it wise to spend $150 on a tattoo, when there is a negative balance in the checking account. I asked her if it could wait until my check came in. She then calls me on the telephone so that Eric can hear the conversation and then I'm the mean one again.
Every time we've had financial problems Ilene was in charge of the bank accounts. Before my first suicide attempt, I was in charge of the books. I took it over after we almost lost the house the first time because she didn't pay property taxes for an entire years. After 6 months under my direction we had paid our back taxes, we paid off the 2004 PT 2 years earlier and $18000. in the savings account.
When Ilene is still paying a mortgage on an house she doesn't own. When she is in an apartment that doesn't allow pets. When the bills are up to her eyes while her children are still sitting in their rooms in her apartment watching TV or playing video games, or going on vacation on mom's dime. Then and maybe then, she will understand that they (all 3 of them) needed help but it will be too late.
When I got married it was for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, til death do us part. I know what I signed for. Ilene says she never signed on for this.
I love my wife and children, but I will no longer pretend that they love me.
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